Reclaiming My Voice — And Coming Back to Myself
One of the hardest parts of healing — and maybe one of the most freeing — is learning how to stop obsessing over what people think about you.
Letting people misunderstand you.
Letting them fill in the blanks wrong.
Letting go of the urge to explain every little thing just to feel safe.
I used to explain everything.
Not just big life decisions — but the smallest things:
Why I changed my mind.
Why I didn’t text back yet.
Why I’m quiet today.
Why I’m wearing sweats and no makeup.
Like... girl. You do not owe a presentation every time you exist.
But for me, explaining was a form of control.
I wanted people to understand me — because being misunderstood felt unbearable.
I’ve always been expressive. Talkative. Sensitive. Passionate.
And over time, I collected labels like:
“Too much.”
“Too loud.”
“Exhausting.”
“Dramatic.”
So I shrank.
I pulled back.
I started rehearsing everything I said and replaying everything I didn’t.
And slowly, the gifts God gave me — to speak, connect, share, and uplift — started to feel more like a liability than a blessing.
I got quieter. Not just out loud — but inside myself.
Here’s what finally landed for me:
The people who are meant to understand you, will.
The people who aren’t meant to, won’t.
No amount of explaining will change that.
And your peace is too valuable to keep sacrificing for approval.
I used to be the “whatever, I’m just gonna be myself and they can deal with it” girl — and honestly, I love her. She was bold. But I’ve grown.
God didn’t make me this way so I could bulldoze people with my personality or hide from who I am.
He made me social so I could connect.
He made me sensitive so I could notice things.
He made me passionate so I could move people.
But He also calls me to do it all with wisdom.
So now I’m learning.
To speak slower.
To listen longer.
To be present when others talk instead of planning what to say next.
To notice when I’m spiraling and gently come back to peace.
And let’s be honest — the spiraling?
It’s not just about people.
It’s about control.
A huge part of healing is learning to control your thoughts, not suppress them.
Suppression leads to chaos.
Control is rooted in self-awareness and surrender.
Because if you suppress every emotion, every need, every instinct — your mind fills in the blanks with fear.
You start assuming what people think.
You rehearse every moment.
You carry shame for things no one’s even mentioned.
And I’m telling you the truth:
People are not thinking about you as much as you think they are.
And if they are? It says more about their life than yours.
This isn't just about caring less. It’s about returning to the present.
Because what helped me finally breathe again was realizing:
Peace lives here.
Not in the past — where I replay everything I should’ve done differently.
Not in the future — where I overanalyze every possible outcome.
Not in their heads. Not in their opinions.
Here. In this moment.
Where God is.
Peace is available right now — not once you’re perfect, or healed, or liked, or finally understood.
“Take every thought captive to obey Christ.”
— 2 Corinthians 10:5
One of the best tools that helped me get there?
A book called The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest.
Please read it, or at least listen on Spotify. Game-changer.
It reminded me:
The biggest battle is always inside us.
And mental strength — not perfection — is what creates lasting peace.
Because even when your biggest fear actually happens…
Even when it feels like everything’s falling apart…
You’re still here. And God is still with you.
And that means you’re going to be okay.
This post is for the woman (or the young girl inside her) who’s caught in the middle.
Between “too much” and “not enough.”
Between performing and hiding.
Between being talked about and never saying a word.
I know what it’s like to lose yourself trying to manage how others see you.
And I also know what it feels like to find your voice again — and use it with grace this time.
The other day I looked in the mirror and thought, I’m going to be 30 in a few years.
And I felt God say: No more excuses.
You’ve taken time to rebuild.
You’ve been humbled.
You’ve grown.
Now walk in it.
Because people are going to think what they think.
But that doesn’t get to define you.
God knows your heart.
And that’s what matters.
✦ Bible Verses for the Journey
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up…” — Ephesians 4:29
“Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from trouble.” — Proverbs 21:23
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” — Jesus
“Take every thought captive…” — 2 Corinthians 10:5
